BREAKING: Obama’s DC Mansion Attacked And On Fire–Here’s What We Know

Former President Barack Obama’s Washington DC mansion was attacked early this afternoon by what investigators are calling an improvised explosive device. While there seems to have been minimal damage to the brick fortress the taxpayers are keeping him in these days, the smoke can still be seen over the Tracey Place neighborhood.

Secret Service and Homeland Security were on scene quickly and cordoned off a 2-mile radius around the house, confiscating recording devices from anyone they could. A bystander who got out before the Gestapo tactics began released two pictures to the Associated Press, which they printed and then removed after being threatened. We’re not going to be bullied into removing ours:

There are no reports of injuries, but the FBI does have 2 suspects in custody. They were going to be charged with terrorist acts until it was discovered that they were young Americans who probably just let a prank get out of hand and tossed a pipe bomb at the house of an ex-president. They fall more under the lone wolf category than that of terrorists.

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The two are currently awaiting release on $500 bail.

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